After encouragement from my friends Vicky and Stephen, my Dad and my husband – I’m back on the ole writing horse and will be posting my thoughts, stories and ramblings here once again. I can’t believe its been an actual whole year since my last post! Time does go past waaaay too fast. Talking about ‘fast’ – it’s The Fast again, the most holy month in the Bahá’i calendar. I always see this time of year as a spiritual and physical re-boot. I find fasting tough but the dawn prayers beautiful and invigorating, I get cold and tired – but also stop and think, pondering where my life is at and what I want to change, develop, transform. I’ve been ill since Monday, so as I’m feeling more or less okay today – I am going to attempt fasting tomorrow and hopefully continue on then until the 20th. I’ll let you know how I get on. Part of me wonders why I’m sharing my thoughts about fasting yet again. Surely I should keep quiet and not tell people if I’ve fasted or not? They would then assume I am fasting rather than being fully aware of my up and down relationship with this Bahá’i law.
However, I think being real with people, especially when it comes to spiritual practices, is important and maybe my experiences will help someone connect to the Fast in a different way, or will at least show that struggling and staying in the fight, rather than just giving up at the starting post is an important part of the journey.
So it’s now a year and nearly 3 months since my Mum passed into the next world. It’s still an incomprehensible occurrence to me. How can this vibrant, enthusiastic, ever-loving and ever-present woman be dead? Well, of course, she isn’t dead. She hasn’t stopped, or disappeared or entered a nothingness. She’s very much alive and present, just in another form. I imagine she is like the image at the top of this post, full of vibrant energy and free to be, to go, to do, to embrace, to surround, to sparkle.
I dream of Mum a lot; she’s always by my Dad’s side and she’s always well (no disabilities) and full of energy. It’s great! I often feel my dream world is more real to me than the conscious reality. It’s like I visit Mum (or she visits me) in my dreams, then I spend time with my Dad when I’m awake. In fact a lot like that amazing TV programme, ‘Awake‘ with Jason Isaacs (I wish they’d make a second series!) which I found fascinating. Here’s a bit about it from Wikipedia:
“Michael (Jason Isaacs) lives in two separate realities after a car accident. In one reality (where he wears a red wristband), his wife Hannah (Laura Allen) survives the accident; in the other reality (where he wears a green wristband), his sonRex (Dylan Minnette) survives. Michael does not know which reality is “real” and uses the wristbands to differentiate the two….At work, Michael’s erratic behavior triggers clashes with his team; they do not know about Michael’s uncanny ability to solve crimes using details from both realities.”
That’s just the kind of idea I wish I had had, for my book! Such a cool idea.
Anyway… a few things happening in my life right now;
I managed to tidy my study so that it (finally!) works out as a study and a dining area. Only took, what….3 years? Both my violin and my guitar are unpacked and looking at me – hopefully they’ll inspire some music out of me.
Talking about music, I’m now part of a close-harmony singing group with my beautiful friends Kerry and Tessa – we are called ‘Songbirds’ and we’re happy with that name, thank you very much. It will make sense when you hear us. We rehearse more or less every two weeks and are practising for the Naw-Ruz party in Newport on the 22nd March.
Still talking about music, Ramin and I have joined the UK Bahá’i Choir and will take a trip up to Edinburgh, which is very exciting! We are now in the process of learning the songs, slow work for dear Ramin – but great (GREAT) brain-training for him, and excellent patience training for me. If there is anyone out there who would like to join the choir (from any or no faith) then click here and get started! They are still looking for many more members. It’s great fun and singing together is just the best feeling.
Oki-doki, more next time. Hope you are all well – and feel free to add your thoughts and responses to my ramblings. Have a lovely day!